God-Shaped Hole: A poem by Project Patch Resident

I tried to fill the hold inside
With anything that I could find

I tried to fill it with things I found in the dark
But it never seemed to hit the mark

Things like sin and secrecy
But they only widened the hole in me

The gap was a very specific shape
And I covered it with depression’s cape

I tried my best to fill it with religion
Pagan perfectionist’s perfect vision

I thought I was full
But my eyes were under the wool

I thought I’d finally fixed my soul
But nothing could fill my God-shaped hole

So, I turned to him, laid aside my hurt
And the change was so curt

Someone to love me and someone to trust
Someone to raise me out of the dust

He gave me new life, a hope for the future
He closed my wounds with a holy suture

I am a new being, I’ve been made whole
Because I let God fill my God-shaped hole


This poem was written and shared by permission of 16-year-old girl who attended Project Patch.

She was raised in a very committed Christian home and made a deep personal commitment at a young age. Yet, she experienced much pain and sadness while serving God with her family. She became confused, then disillusioned then downright angry at a God who would allow his followers to experience deep pain.

She abandoned her early faith and tried living without faith, yet she was drawn to learn more about others faith and how they dealt with the problem of pain. She settled on pagan religions and white magic. Yet her pain and confusion persisted and her anxieties and depression only increased.

She came to Project Patch looking for peace from her anxiety and depression. She did not coming looking for spiritual answers. During her 12 month stay, she discovered psychological peace and spiritual answers.

This poem is a spoken word peace she wrote describing a slice of her story.

(C) 2018 by Project Patch on behalf of client.


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